Bitchy Neighbor

Today’s posting is not about the bike.  Today I want to speak about my lovely neighbor.  She’s great.  Lately she has been trying to keep the beat with our music by tapping on her side of the wall.  What fun!!  My wife and I have been in our town home going on two years now and it’s been a joy to have adjoining walls with this neighbor.  I’ve lived in lots of different places from dorm rooms, apartments, and town homes.  I’ve had roommates that I could tell you some insane stories about (more about this another time), but this lady next door takes the cake.  Let me give you a little history.

Back in Oct 08 my wife and I purchased our first home.  We were super excited about moving and having a place of our own.  The first couple of days were hectic as we had boxes and movers and delivery guys all over the place.  After two or three days of settling in my wife had an idea that she wanted to bake a cake or make some cookies for our neighbors in hopes that we would make friends around the complex.  Super nice, no doubt about it, but in my mind after living next to some horrible people I’d rather just keep to myself and go on about my life.  Well my wife didn’t have time to make a cake or any goodies before she met our wonderful neighbor.  There my wife was, jamming to some music while hard at work unpacking boxes after a long day.  You know the kind of day where you just want to tune out the world with some music?  Must have been about 6:30 PM when she hears the knock at the door.  Being excited would be putting it lightly when my wife was trotting down the stairs to answer the door.  She was happy, I would say elated to meet one of our neighbors.  She opens the door with a huge grin on her face and what she gets in return is just downright sad.  At the door to greet my wife was our neighbor with a look of disgust on her face as my wife is extending her hand, “HI, my name is Tati”.  Nothing in reply comes from our neighbor except, “your music is too loud, can you turn it down”?  Wow, really?  So of course my wife felt bad about the music and said “Of course, I’m sorry I will turn it down right away”, but deep inside she was a bit perturbed about her first meeting with our lovely neighbor.

What a joy to know that within just a few days of moving in we’ve already got an annoying complainer living next door.  Granted my wife has never lived in an apartment-town home atmosphere with adjoining walls and she probably did have the music a bit too loud.  The greeting she got at the door was not necessary and it began a nasty little evil deep down in my wife that we’ll get back to shortly.  A few weeks went by before we ran into our neighbor again as we both became a little over sensitive about having our TV or music too loud.  Luckily, it was my wife and not I who ran into “her” again.  This time it was more of a friendly nature, (what do you do’s and where are you from type questions).  All in hopes to get to know each other, at least that’s what my wife was thinking until she was slammed with a whopper.  This lady asked an odd question which still to this day stumps me how anyone could be so blatantly rude.  She asked if we had all of our stuff, i.e. boxes, furniture and such in storage before we moved.  Not an odd question per say, but when followed up with “The reason I ask is, all of a sudden I have roaches and I thought you brought them from storage”, then you can see why I would be stumped.  My wife of course profusely denied having our stuff in storage and was really shocked at the question having already dealt with standing outside and dealing with her drilling questions for 15 minutes.

That was it.  This time she had gone too far.  From then on we have been ignoring her every time we see her and her little dog, who she claims our dog tried to eat. Here’s a pic of our vicious killer contemplating eating her dog.  Notice he’s also a killer bee?

So you’re probably asking why wait till now to write about this.  Well first off I didn’t have the blog back then, duh, but besides that we had a wonderful run in with her again last night.  Actually, again it was my wife who had the luck to cross paths with her.  My wife was once again listening to some music when she hears a loud thump.  Panicking a bit because we’ve had some recent earthquakes, she assumed the “do I run out the door?” posture before realizing it was our lovely neighbor appreciating the music my wife was listening to and decided to beat along on her side of the wall.  Someone really needs to tell her ass that she has absolutely no rhythm though.  The wife was fed up to say the least.  She proceeded to beat back on our side of the wall.  This continued back and forth for a moment or two until some words were screamed, from our end.  I won’t go into details, but let’s just say enter the nasty little evil that festered a few months back.  My wife decided to grab our dog, (he’s her protection by the way, the vicious killer) and walk over to our neighbors house.  6 doorbell rings later the monster next door comes out of her cave, on her balcony no less, and some very “not so nice words were exchanged between the two”.  I believe it started with my wife asking her to stop beating on the wall in which the lady replied to turn down the music.  It continued by my wife trying to explain to the horrid beast that it was only 6:30 PM and if she wanted to listen to some music then she would.  The monster then mentioned something about calling the Sheriffs Office (now it’s getting good) which was returned by “call them b*#ch you stupid f*^k&#g whore”.  This coming out of my wife means 1: she is really pissed off, and 2: glad it wasn’t me she was yelling at.  Fun night, let me tell you.

The rest of the evening concluded with us worrying about the Sheriffs showing up and us being that ghetto couple on Cops. Huh, bad boys whatya gonna do?  Joking aside, the nerve of this lady is really surprising.  To think she would actually waste our police officers time and of course our tax dollars to call on her neighbor regarding music is just mind blowing.  We’ve always been respectful of our neighbors, and my friends can attest I am always watching the sound during any parties or get togethers we have.  Anal now I would say.  Not once have we complained about her dog barking all day Saturdays & Sundays when she isn’t home.  Literally all day.  So what do you do in these circumstances?  Suck it up?  Make it worse for her?  It’s a tough one as we have a right to enjoy our lives as much as this lady has a right to despise her own.  Leave a comment, and let me know what your opinion is.


6 thoughts on “Bitchy Neighbor

  1. I would make her life miserable to the point where she would pray to find a buyer and move the hell outta there.

    I would ask someone that owns a vicious pitbull to come around for some free “meat” .

    Last but not least, I would open a box of Tarantulas under her door, it sure beats roaches 10 to 1.


  2. Ha! Too funny — I can’t believe Tati cursed her out. In places I lived before I’ve heard that cops won’t come out unless it is later at night — like after 11 or so. I don’t think you need to worry about 6:30. What a B-word!!

    1. We ended up getting a notice from the HOA. I explained the situation to them and they in-turn sent a notice to her as well regarding her barking dog. And the word you were looking for is Bitch. Definitely Bitch.

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